Have you ever seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You? Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston—the cast is fabulous, the drama even better. But this isn’t about the movie. This is about real life. About the little red flags we spot and then—oops—decide to ignore.
Because let’s be real: every one of us has, at some point, sat with a cocktail in hand, looking at our phone and wondering: “Does this guy even like me?”
Usually, that question pops up after one of two scenarios:
1. He’s so hot, he fogs up your vision.
We all know this one. You see him across the room. He catches your eye. Your girls notice. Suddenly, you’re locking glances like it’s your own Netflix rom-com. He’s hot—to you—and he knows how to use it.
He flirts, he’s charming, maybe even a little chivalrous. You exchange numbers, start texting, go on a couple of dates… and you’re hooked.
2. He “love bombs” you into believing you’re the one making the moves.
Then there’s that guy. He might not even be your usual type, but he comes in smooth. The “we’re cool” guy who suddenly drops a line like, “One day, I’m taking you out on a date.” Or, “I can’t believe we never kissed.”
Little seeds planted in random moments. Hot and cold like your favorite binge-worthy drama. At first, you’re confused. Then you start thinking, maybe I’m into this too. Before you know it, you’re flirting back, waiting for his next move like it’s the season finale.
And then… both storylines end the same way:
Inconsistencies.
Texts that take days to get a reply. Random late-night messages after weeks of silence. Casual flirty encounters in person—followed by nothing. Soon, all you have is a contact in your phone you could label as “WTF” or “Is he even into me?”
The Harsh Truth, Darling: He’s a No.
Let’s break down why he’s acting this way:
- He thinks you’re hot, but he doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants you in his “roster.”
- He’s not actually attracted to you like that—but hey, your attention feeds his ego.
- Ouch—he’s building a backup booty-call list.
- He’s into your looks, but doesn’t like you as a person. (Yes, it happens.)
The point? Don’t waste energy decoding his behavior like it’s some mysterious puzzle. If he’s inconsistent, he’s out. Period.
.
Our Golden Rule: Match His Investment.
Whether you’re after something casual or a serious relationship, the same rule applies: know what you want, and only invest what he invests.
If you’re keeping it casual? Great. But don’t sit by the phone. Text him only as much as he texts you. Don’t cancel girls’ nights or solo plans to wait around for him. Go on dates, take trips, focus on you. Because once you make a casual fling your top priority, you’ve already lost the game.
And if you’re looking for something serious? Even more important. You are your number one priority. A man who is truly serious will climb your “ladder of priorities”—from “just another contact” to “inner circle.” He’ll make time. He’ll put in the effort. And you should expect nothing less.
Bottom Line
Dating—and life—is a game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. There will always be hot-and-cold guys, but actions (and sometimes words) always reveal intentions.
Deep down, you already know all this. We all do. But sometimes, a little reminder goes a long way.
So here it is: you are a queen. Act, speak, and move like it. Because queens don’t waste their crowns on court jesters.
Stay safe out there in these dating streets, darling. And remember: the right one won’t leave you guessing